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What I Learned at Beachfest 2017


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#1
OFFLINE   threeyellowstarfish

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Here are a few things I learned at Beachfest this year (I will probably be adding more to the list):

 

  • ***THE CLAN DOES NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU RIDE IN ANOTHER TEAM'S DACIA***
     
  • The Poconos is pretty much an irl pubg scene.. plenty of opportunities to loot the party barn and go prone behind the trees.
     
  • Manpile is really taking off (big things ahead for this venture) #manpile.info
     
  • ***DO NOT GET IN A CAR WITH TANNER***
     
  • The rumors are true...BigSexy and I are related #brotherbear
     
  • BigSexy & Tanner will go survival mode on your ass when necessary (shout out to brother for shielding my gentle eyes from the dying baby deer).
     
  • Phantisma is naked saltbae.
     
  • I have a clone...he lives in Canada #creepytwins
     
  • Phantisma has a thing for roundabouts. 
     
  • Reech is a great tinder buddy...he swipes appropriately majority of the time except when he sees a guy with freaky looking eyebrows.
     
  • If you're in the hot tub..you are naked...NO EXCEPTIONS!
     
  • The Booty song is not dead!
     
  • Playing the Beatles (especially Strawberry Fields Forever) on loop is one quick way to piss off the clan.
     
  • Pezz is not so bad irl except for that time he screwed over Drink in that one game (strong alliances were formed that day) #partybarn
     
  • A few things still remain unclear: Who was the man in the portrait hanging in the party barn? What was the real purpose of the beds in that one room?
     
  • Slenderman is real.
     
  • Note to self: remember to pack the SheWee next year bc girls should be able to pee around corners and behind trees too.
     
  • Dadmiral Ackbar is the best! Never doubt him in a game of Warewolf!!
     
  • DCook (also known as DCups) finally learned the meaning of cups (not the kind you drink out of).
     
  • Eli & Hammer of the Gods need to start a food truck (campfire sandwiches and fully loaded taters).
     
  • Tire swings were more comfortable when we were kids #assbruises
     
  • Do not let Reeeech push you on the tire swing unless you want to have an encounter with the tree.
     
  • Harvey, Luke, and Deviant - We WILL take back the golden penis in trivia next year #teamstarfish
     
  • Defend that is the official BRH photographer (even if it feels like he's creeping on you..just accept it it's for a good cause) #beachfestphotog
     
  • Harvey - We will be the ultimate beer pong champions next year. 
     
  • Erotic clan fiction is apparently how we are going to be raising money from now on.
     
  • #1 BF rule: Do what you want but if you die we will weekend at Bernie's you.
     
  • True is pregnant!!! And just a fair warning: the clan is already coming up with some very creative baby names #manpile2017


#2
OFFLINE   Drunk Nerds

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There was a dying baby deer?

NLSP5d8.gifZI94lAQ.gif

 

 


#3
OFFLINE   threeyellowstarfish

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There was a dying baby deer?


Yes. It was terrifying.

#4
OFFLINE   Drunk Nerds

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Story please. I had no idea

NLSP5d8.gifZI94lAQ.gif

 

 


#5
OFFLINE   Harvey Birdman

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Story please. I had no idea


One word. Tanner
Bear Porn: "I'm not done talking about cervical mucus. I have opinions"

Austin: "I like tranny cum. It tastes like candy to me. Yaay trannies!"

Austin: "Women are made of bullshit and lava"

ThrillerRob: "And I am the conductor of the rape train! Choo Choo!"

Codemonkey: "I'm going to get surgery so my wife can peg me"

-RIPeas-

#6
OFFLINE   Trebec

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I love all of you. (Already knew this, just reaffirmed my stance)

You all make me a better person. 

I've been accepted as a CSS member.

Snakes live in rocks.

 

*AMENDMENT*

 

Drunken campfire is the best time to start a subcomittee. 

 

Hammer indeed does make some bomb-ass pudgy pies. 

 

Pezz sucks mad dick, especially during Werewolf.

 

Kdoei has a hard time with words after he hits his head. 

 

Anything can be a bed if you try hard enough.

 

Some of you don't know how to play corn hole, the right way. 

 

Some of you think that a CIDER can take second place at a BEER tasting.... dammit Pete! 

 

Invest in your own cup that can serve you coffee, water, and beer! Just don't have matching ones...if I have to look for another silver Yeti....

 

CHEESY POTATO WEDGES! 


Trebec - "I want to save all of the animals."

Starfish - "Don't be a hero."

 

Code - "That snap. You sent my wife. It made me hard." 

 

Reeeeeeeech - "You're either the dick, or the face. Sometimes you might be the balls." 


#7
OFFLINE   Trebec

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Bear is afraid of snakes and ticks.

Trebec - "I want to save all of the animals."

Starfish - "Don't be a hero."

 

Code - "That snap. You sent my wife. It made me hard." 

 

Reeeeeeeech - "You're either the dick, or the face. Sometimes you might be the balls." 


#8
OFFLINE   threeyellowstarfish

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Story please. I had no idea


Yeah so basically BigSexy just got to the house and all of the sudden I see him getting in a car with Tanner. So I'm like 'Woah! Where are you taking him!?' Tanner just tells me to get in the car. So I do. Then we drive around going way too freaking fast and at this point I'm begging to be dropped off at the house since I didn't want to die that morning.

After a few rounds around the area we run into a baby deer. That's when we pulled over to kill it bc apparently that's what you are supposed to do. I wanted to heal it somehow but they told me that was impossible. So BigSexy takes out his pocket knife and gives it to Tanner. I'm in the back seat shedding a few tears bc I've never been part of such an experience and a baby animal was about to be killed. BigSexy is standing in front of the passenger window making sure I didn't see what was about to happen. All I heard was Tanner shouting 'I can't find the damn artery!!'

Then he found the artery and we drove home ...

#9
OFFLINE   Spank Me

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Actually he had to stab it through the skull.

Need to get the facts right on this.

#10
OFFLINE   threeyellowstarfish

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I had no idea!