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Guest Message by DevFuse


What I Learned at Beachfest 2017

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OFFLINE   Spank Me

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Things I learned at Beachfest:


-- My love for you all shall never fade


-- Big Sexy thinks I'm squeamish 


-- Luke is dapper AF


-- DefendThat and I are gossip queens


-- Codemonkey is sneaky sneaky with video


-- Phantisma and I are professional ballroom dancers now


-- Drunk Nerds lives for Trivia


-- Dirty Mike is never, ever afraid to call you on your shit


-- If you're not careful, Reeeeeech will attack


-- Even if Mando isn't there, I am still referred to as Queen of the Clam


-- I think Trebec and I are sister wives now?


-- Momo has nerves of steel to bring a new girlfriend to Beachfest, but it's okay because she's a BAMF


-- Drink is very wise, even if your services are awkwardly offered (she knows what I mean)


-- Deviant is always down for a wennie run


-- Hammer makes the world's greatest campfire sandwiches


-- If you bang on the door enough, Kdoie will answer naked and yell at you


-- Pezz approved of my music, and I was allowed to DJ all weekend. Twas an honor


-- Pete & Cynthia are super chill 


-- DasBear will give you the MTV Cribs tour of his tent.  It's about 30 seconds but worth waking him up in the morning for


-- Zas is a snorer. 


-- Nerdy Rage is always down for a good time 


-- DCook is one of the most kind people I've ever met 


-- I live for Akbar's morning streching routine


-- Harvey will show you his testicles, just ask


-- T.Gunner - never listen to us.  We will get you wasted.


-- Eli is down for cuddles 100% of the time


-- I am the official picture taker of the Captain that is Trips




- I believe I have seen half of the clams testicles now


- I will get sick no matter what after trivia trying to wrangle you fucks in


- Tanner is just a tornado of destruction, but he does know how to make it up to me ;)


- Bringing a shewee next year because I want to pee outside DAMN IT


- I apparently can induct people into the CSS roster, but there is a very specific criteria


- Wennie's for days


- Nipples.


- I like to change clothes, and apparently people will notice


- Long Live the Sadness Circle of the last night of Beachfest where we round up all the alcohol and drink it, very depressingly.


I love each and every one of you, I think I got everyone written down. Please let me know if I forgot anyone.  I know that day I spent in bed made me miss a few things.  I'm going to have to find a way to take better care of my voice next year... it's still fucked up.


Kisses my loves!


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What I learned at Beach Fest 2017: (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)


- You have to drive just a little bit further to get to the house, also don't pull into the wrong driveway.


- LSD is a performance enhancing drug when it comes to trivia.


- Frequent, random naps on the porch are good for the soul (and hangovers)


- Tgunner is a lot more cuddly than I imagined.


- Pezz is probably my favorite person, except when we're playing card games.  Fuck you for selling me out Pezz.


- Phantisma is an amazing, naked unicorn and I hope that never changes.


- Hammer makes awesome campfire sandwiches and has the best weed


- Surprised that naked hot tub time wasn't a thing until this beachfest


- Starfish and Luke are the cutest cool kids and I was enjoying the Beatles playlist


- Big Sexy is quieter than I thought but he has an amazing beard so it's ok


- Kdoei really likes to sleep


- I saw Tanner's dick more times than I wanted to


- Birdman's vape juice smells nice and is still in my clothes 


- Momo gave my pipe an awesome name


- Tish is the shit!  Best beer pong partner


- Nerdyrage is a sweetheart and we need to drink together more


- DCook is a total bro and we need to drink together more too


- Eli will subscribe to your youtube channel if you ask nicely and hang out in the hot tub until dawn


- Reeeeech is really intense and likes to dance when drunk


- Drunk Nerds is much more animated and energetic than I thought, which makes sense considering he has to keep up with 2 little boys and a bunch of drunks!  His dedication to the slip and slide was astounding


- The child dungeon room didn't smell like farts but was a chorus of snoring


- kissing everyone is a good way to catch a cold


- DasBear has awesome red undies (Momo and Big Sexy too)


- Trebec was brave enough to engage in naked hot tub time and that's wonderful


- Code has an excellent selection of plaid shirts and we should have hung out more outside of the hot tub


- Deviant, we should have hung out more too, but I saw you sleeping with your hand down your pants, so that's cool I guess :D


- Dirty Mike is amazing, but couldn't handle the pizza box game


- Stinky Pete's Poncho game is on point


- Trips is easily the coolest motherfucker I have ever met, why the hell are you all the way down in Durango?


- I should have had sex with Rawr, or drank more with you.  <3 u bbgurl <3

- Bottle opener balisongs will get you pulled out of the security line at the airport


- Ackbar had the best sleeping spot at beachfest

- DefendThat has the best smile and best hair.  FACT

- I felt bad that we made Zas sleep with the light on


I think I covered everyone, if I didn't, well, I'll snap chat some tits to you <3


Thanks for making Beach Fest a memorable one, guys, see you next year!

Hurp durp


OFFLINE   Spank Me

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- I should have had sex with Rawr, or drank more with you.  <3 u bbgurl <3



There's always next year, bby. ;)


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-- Drink is very wise, even if your services are awkwardly offered (she knows what I mean)





(I was probably really drunk tho)

Hurp durp


OFFLINE   Codemonkey


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- Drink makes people take their clothes off
- What Tanner's testicles look like
- What Kdoei's testicles look like
- What Phantisma's testicles look like
- What Pezz looks like naked (already knew what his testicles looked like)
- What Eli's testicles look like
- What Big Sexy's testicles look like
- What Drink's boobies look like
- Tanner is a MAN and likes to kill small animals
- You can unlock level 2 at beachfest and it's full of lake toys
- We have no problem killing a full keg of double IPA
- What T.Gunner looks like absolutely smashed
- When beachfest runs out of booze it's really fucking depressing
- A Nissan Note has difficulties bringing Kdoei and I up a mountain
- Zasderer is surprisingly calm in person...
- RAWR likes to change A LOT

Great beachfest, thanks for organizing this Nerds
I love it when a clam comes together.

It's not fast spawn out there so be careful


Guess what, Defendthat! I've visited my prostate on several occasions.

OFFLINE   Big Sexy

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Things I learned at Beachfest V

  • Tanner is fun to ride with in a car he gives no shits about.
  • Pezz is exactly like he is online, despite what he claims
  • Pants-less beer pong is the best way to play TEAM RED UNDIES 4 LIFE!
  • Das is one majestic man, and I does some sick tricks with the frisbee
  • To keep my eyes open for drinking games, or I'll miss them every time
  • Phantisma is super comfortable naked, and is a good moderator for games
  • Luke is one cool cat, even without a linen suit
  • I should not play Kdoei in blackjack for shots (specially Seagrams 7)
  • Hammer is a brand new uncle and roller blades like a boss
  • Cooking kills a buzz quick, so prepare accordingly
  • Drink gives good hugs, and I need to make time to hang out with next time
  • RAWR is by far the most fun to pester (sorry for your phone btw)
  • Reech and Eli are the wrong people to get if you're trying to not make a manpile
  • Poker will not get going if me and Dirty Mike are the ones leading the way
  • I shouldn't have a manpile in my bed if my room-mate is looking to sleep
  • Defend that is super sneaky with the camera, so keep your wits
  • Nerdy is good company while you cook, even if I'm super quiet when I do it
  • Hanging out with Trips is great and I hope to do it every year
  • It's extremely fun hanging out by the fire with all of you, and I can't wait till next year

Actually he had to stab it through the skull.

Need to get the facts right on this.

^Love the candor BTW, and why do I think you are squeamish again?


OFFLINE   Spank Me

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  • RAWR is by far the most fun to pester (sorry for your phone btw)




Edit: I'm angry all over again.

OFFLINE   MissNerdyRage

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! DO NOT drink after you show up to beachfest late and have not eaten in 24 hours!

-Trebec will hold your hair for you when you get sick, she will take good care of you and wont let you die.

-I am DasBear's second wife now, and i dunno how this happened.

-Drink is awesome and i would totally sex her.

-Never play bear pong against the red underwear, too distracting.

-Never play beer pong on slipprty pavement, it will send you to the ER with a knee injury when you get back home (all good though).

-Rawr is a badass and i definitely need to hang out with her more, would also sex her.

-Watch out for the ninja, I'm lookin at you DefendThat.

-I am ordering a sheewee....

-Tell everyone you are leaving the rape barn, otherwise they freak out and will tackle you with hugs when they find you.

-Ear plugs for any sudden snoring bands.

-Do not breath through the nose while helping Trebec pull guys out of the manpile.

-Code will bear hug you, tread with caution.

-DCups with grope your tits if asked, she's also super awesome, should have sexed.

-Tanner will agressively hug you and accidentally spill your beer on you.

-Never leave the rape barn (party barn) without your buddy, tisma will scold you.

-If someone says there is a dick out, there is a dick out.

-Testicles, testicles everywhere.

-Reeeeeeech will hit you on accident, but will make up for it with a good hug.

-Harvey has a nice squeezable ass...

-Pezz is a sweetheart, and will protect you from the naked Tisma.

-When TGunner starts walking in a large circle he is protecting the land, as soon as he leaves weird happens.

-The booty song.......

-Be sure to eat.

-The last beer will cause extreme depression for everyone.

From what i can remember, it was amazing. Awesome first beachfest and i can't wait for next year, I'm pretty sure i promised a few of you i would be there and i never break a promise.

OFFLINE   T.gunner1991

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-What its like to get drunk around you guys


-Phantisma has a kind soft heart behind his loud mighty voice


-Nerdy is so awesome to sit and talk to about anything


-Drink is more awesome then i could have imagined and loves hugs and cuddles


-Pezz we should definitely go to Disneyland together


-Das bear and me have a friendly rivalry now


-Starfish always good for a walk and a little chat


-Trebec makes the best spaghetti 


-Harvey vapes like no one I've ever seen


-Eli loves to tickle me


-Defendthat drinks screwdrivers all day


-Codemonkey will always grab your butt in a hug


-Tanner is crazy when drunk


-Rawr is the only person i know who can get everyone together to do trivia


-Big sexy is a heavy sleeper lol


-Kdoei sleeps for most of the day then makes a small appearance 


-Dcook is so chill and i look forward to seeing her again 


-When reeech gets drunk he gets annihilated


-Hammer makes the best sandwiches


This has been a very special beachfest for me and i can say from the bottom of my heart i love you all and am proud to call you all my friends, thank you for making me feel like i belong somewhere.