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What I Learned at Beachfest 2017


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#11
OFFLINE   Spank Me

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Things I learned at Beachfest:

 

-- My love for you all shall never fade

 

-- Big Sexy thinks I'm squeamish 

 

-- Luke is dapper AF

 

-- DefendThat and I are gossip queens

 

-- Codemonkey is sneaky sneaky with video

 

-- Phantisma and I are professional ballroom dancers now

 

-- Drunk Nerds lives for Trivia

 

-- Dirty Mike is never, ever afraid to call you on your shit

 

-- If you're not careful, Reeeeeech will attack

 

-- Even if Mando isn't there, I am still referred to as Queen of the Clam

 

-- I think Trebec and I are sister wives now?

 

-- Momo has nerves of steel to bring a new girlfriend to Beachfest, but it's okay because she's a BAMF

 

-- Drink is very wise, even if your services are awkwardly offered (she knows what I mean)

 

-- Deviant is always down for a wennie run

 

-- Hammer makes the world's greatest campfire sandwiches

 

-- If you bang on the door enough, Kdoie will answer naked and yell at you

 

-- Pezz approved of my music, and I was allowed to DJ all weekend. Twas an honor

 

-- Pete & Cynthia are super chill 

 

-- DasBear will give you the MTV Cribs tour of his tent.  It's about 30 seconds but worth waking him up in the morning for

 

-- Zas is a snorer. 

 

-- Nerdy Rage is always down for a good time 

 

-- DCook is one of the most kind people I've ever met 

 

-- I live for Akbar's morning streching routine

 

-- Harvey will show you his testicles, just ask

 

-- T.Gunner - never listen to us.  We will get you wasted.

 

-- Eli is down for cuddles 100% of the time

 

-- I am the official picture taker of the Captain that is Trips

 

Other:

 

- I believe I have seen half of the clams testicles now

 

- I will get sick no matter what after trivia trying to wrangle you fucks in

 

- Tanner is just a tornado of destruction, but he does know how to make it up to me ;)

 

- Bringing a shewee next year because I want to pee outside DAMN IT

 

- I apparently can induct people into the CSS roster, but there is a very specific criteria

 

- Wennie's for days

 

- Nipples.

 

- I like to change clothes, and apparently people will notice

 

- Long Live the Sadness Circle of the last night of Beachfest where we round up all the alcohol and drink it, very depressingly.

 

I love each and every one of you, I think I got everyone written down. Please let me know if I forgot anyone.  I know that day I spent in bed made me miss a few things.  I'm going to have to find a way to take better care of my voice next year... it's still fucked up.

 

Kisses my loves!



#12
OFFLINE   Drink

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What I learned at Beach Fest 2017: (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

 

- You have to drive just a little bit further to get to the house, also don't pull into the wrong driveway.

 

- LSD is a performance enhancing drug when it comes to trivia.

 

- Frequent, random naps on the porch are good for the soul (and hangovers)

 

- Tgunner is a lot more cuddly than I imagined.

 

- Pezz is probably my favorite person, except when we're playing card games.  Fuck you for selling me out Pezz.

 

- Phantisma is an amazing, naked unicorn and I hope that never changes.

 

- Hammer makes awesome campfire sandwiches and has the best weed

 

- Surprised that naked hot tub time wasn't a thing until this beachfest

 

- Starfish and Luke are the cutest cool kids and I was enjoying the Beatles playlist

 

- Big Sexy is quieter than I thought but he has an amazing beard so it's ok

 

- Kdoei really likes to sleep

 

- I saw Tanner's dick more times than I wanted to

 

- Birdman's vape juice smells nice and is still in my clothes 

 

- Momo gave my pipe an awesome name

 

- Tish is the shit!  Best beer pong partner

 

- Nerdyrage is a sweetheart and we need to drink together more

 

- DCook is a total bro and we need to drink together more too

 

- Eli will subscribe to your youtube channel if you ask nicely and hang out in the hot tub until dawn

 

- Reeeeech is really intense and likes to dance when drunk

 

- Drunk Nerds is much more animated and energetic than I thought, which makes sense considering he has to keep up with 2 little boys and a bunch of drunks!  His dedication to the slip and slide was astounding

 

- The child dungeon room didn't smell like farts but was a chorus of snoring

 

- kissing everyone is a good way to catch a cold

 

- DasBear has awesome red undies (Momo and Big Sexy too)

 

- Trebec was brave enough to engage in naked hot tub time and that's wonderful

 

- Code has an excellent selection of plaid shirts and we should have hung out more outside of the hot tub

 

- Deviant, we should have hung out more too, but I saw you sleeping with your hand down your pants, so that's cool I guess :D

 

- Dirty Mike is amazing, but couldn't handle the pizza box game

 

- Stinky Pete's Poncho game is on point

 

- Trips is easily the coolest motherfucker I have ever met, why the hell are you all the way down in Durango?

 

- I should have had sex with Rawr, or drank more with you.  <3 u bbgurl <3

- Bottle opener balisongs will get you pulled out of the security line at the airport

 

- Ackbar had the best sleeping spot at beachfest

- DefendThat has the best smile and best hair.  FACT

- I felt bad that we made Zas sleep with the light on

 

I think I covered everyone, if I didn't, well, I'll snap chat some tits to you <3

 

Thanks for making Beach Fest a memorable one, guys, see you next year!


Hurp durp

fvBqa.gif


#13
OFFLINE   Spank Me

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- I should have had sex with Rawr, or drank more with you.  <3 u bbgurl <3

 

 

There's always next year, bby. ;)



#14
OFFLINE   Drink

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-- Drink is very wise, even if your services are awkwardly offered (she knows what I mean)

 

 

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(I was probably really drunk tho)


Hurp durp

fvBqa.gif


#15
OFFLINE   Codemonkey

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- Drink makes people take their clothes off
- What Tanner's testicles look like
- What Kdoei's testicles look like
- What Phantisma's testicles look like
- What Pezz looks like naked (already knew what his testicles looked like)
- What Eli's testicles look like
- What Big Sexy's testicles look like
- What Drink's boobies look like
- Tanner is a MAN and likes to kill small animals
- You can unlock level 2 at beachfest and it's full of lake toys
- We have no problem killing a full keg of double IPA
- What T.Gunner looks like absolutely smashed
- MANPILE2017
- When beachfest runs out of booze it's really fucking depressing
- A Nissan Note has difficulties bringing Kdoei and I up a mountain
- Zasderer is surprisingly calm in person...
- RAWR likes to change A LOT

Great beachfest, thanks for organizing this Nerds
I love it when a clam comes together.

It's not fast spawn out there so be careful

WE SUM DUM LEADURZ.

Guess what, Defendthat! I've visited my prostate on several occasions.


#16
OFFLINE   Big Sexy

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Things I learned at Beachfest V

  • Tanner is fun to ride with in a car he gives no shits about.
  • Pezz is exactly like he is online, despite what he claims
  • Pants-less beer pong is the best way to play TEAM RED UNDIES 4 LIFE!
  • Das is one majestic man, and I does some sick tricks with the frisbee
  • To keep my eyes open for drinking games, or I'll miss them every time
  • Phantisma is super comfortable naked, and is a good moderator for games
  • Luke is one cool cat, even without a linen suit
  • I should not play Kdoei in blackjack for shots (specially Seagrams 7)
  • Hammer is a brand new uncle and roller blades like a boss
  • Cooking kills a buzz quick, so prepare accordingly
  • Drink gives good hugs, and I need to make time to hang out with next time
  • RAWR is by far the most fun to pester (sorry for your phone btw)
  • Reech and Eli are the wrong people to get if you're trying to not make a manpile
  • Poker will not get going if me and Dirty Mike are the ones leading the way
  • I shouldn't have a manpile in my bed if my room-mate is looking to sleep
  • Defend that is super sneaky with the camera, so keep your wits
  • Nerdy is good company while you cook, even if I'm super quiet when I do it
  • Hanging out with Trips is great and I hope to do it every year
  • It's extremely fun hanging out by the fire with all of you, and I can't wait till next year

Actually he had to stab it through the skull.

Need to get the facts right on this.

^Love the candor BTW, and why do I think you are squeamish again?


Ol3TcY9.gif


#17
OFFLINE   Spank Me

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  • RAWR is by far the most fun to pester (sorry for your phone btw)

 

I FORGOT ABOUT CRACKING MY PHONE. AHHHHHH

 

Edit: I'm angry all over again.



#18
OFFLINE   MissNerdyRage

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! DO NOT drink after you show up to beachfest late and have not eaten in 24 hours!

-Trebec will hold your hair for you when you get sick, she will take good care of you and wont let you die.

-I am DasBear's second wife now, and i dunno how this happened.

-Drink is awesome and i would totally sex her.

-Never play bear pong against the red underwear, too distracting.

-Never play beer pong on slipprty pavement, it will send you to the ER with a knee injury when you get back home (all good though).

-Rawr is a badass and i definitely need to hang out with her more, would also sex her.

-Watch out for the ninja, I'm lookin at you DefendThat.

-I am ordering a sheewee....

-Tell everyone you are leaving the rape barn, otherwise they freak out and will tackle you with hugs when they find you.

-Ear plugs for any sudden snoring bands.

-Do not breath through the nose while helping Trebec pull guys out of the manpile.

-Code will bear hug you, tread with caution.

-DCups with grope your tits if asked, she's also super awesome, should have sexed.

-Tanner will agressively hug you and accidentally spill your beer on you.

-Never leave the rape barn (party barn) without your buddy, tisma will scold you.

-If someone says there is a dick out, there is a dick out.

-Testicles, testicles everywhere.

-Reeeeeeech will hit you on accident, but will make up for it with a good hug.

-Harvey has a nice squeezable ass...

-Pezz is a sweetheart, and will protect you from the naked Tisma.

-When TGunner starts walking in a large circle he is protecting the land, as soon as he leaves weird happens.

-The booty song.......

-Be sure to eat.

-The last beer will cause extreme depression for everyone.

From what i can remember, it was amazing. Awesome first beachfest and i can't wait for next year, I'm pretty sure i promised a few of you i would be there and i never break a promise.

#19
OFFLINE   T.gunner1991

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-What its like to get drunk around you guys

 

-Phantisma has a kind soft heart behind his loud mighty voice

 

-Nerdy is so awesome to sit and talk to about anything

 

-Drink is more awesome then i could have imagined and loves hugs and cuddles

 

-Pezz we should definitely go to Disneyland together

 

-Das bear and me have a friendly rivalry now

 

-Starfish always good for a walk and a little chat

 

-Trebec makes the best spaghetti 

 

-Harvey vapes like no one I've ever seen

 

-Eli loves to tickle me

 

-Defendthat drinks screwdrivers all day

 

-Codemonkey will always grab your butt in a hug

 

-Tanner is crazy when drunk

 

-Rawr is the only person i know who can get everyone together to do trivia

 

-Big sexy is a heavy sleeper lol

 

-Kdoei sleeps for most of the day then makes a small appearance 

 

-Dcook is so chill and i look forward to seeing her again 

 

-When reeech gets drunk he gets annihilated

 

-Hammer makes the best sandwiches

 

This has been a very special beachfest for me and i can say from the bottom of my heart i love you all and am proud to call you all my friends, thank you for making me feel like i belong somewhere.  


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